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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25131256">Thoughts about love</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snelly_ESQ/pseuds/Snelly_ESQ'>Snelly_ESQ</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Lackadaisy (Webcomic)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:21:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,877</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25131256</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snelly_ESQ/pseuds/Snelly_ESQ</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The morning after a party, Ivy awakes to a morning full of hangovers, questions about love, and the cutest cat in all of St. Louis (not counting herself, of course) Calvin McMurray, who has his own questions.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Calvin "Freckle" McMurray/Ivy Pepper</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Thoughts about love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>    The day broke through the slightly open blinds, bathing the room in horizontal lines of light, which easily showed the dust playing in the air. The light cast itself onto the blankets, which held her close to the bed. She was still in her clothes from the night before, save for her shoes, which were by the edge of the somewhat unfamiliar bedroom door, of what she presumed to be an apartment someplace. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    She was groggy, dehydrated, and her head was pounding. Her lips were dry and her fur was matted every which way it could be. Her hair was short enough that it didn’t become too messy but a part of it was clearly sticking up in the back. Her tail was sore, and it felt as if she fell onto it. Her eyes adjusted to the light as they blinked open, and she saw matted fur, in the shape of the folds of the pillow case, as that arm rapidly regained its feeling, the uncomfortable scrambling sensation, like an army of wires connecting all at once, as she flexed her hand open and shut. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    She sat up, slowly, and saw a note on the nightstand, along with a glass of water. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>    ‘Ivy, </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>    A friend of mine is a landlord, and I’ve been renting this apartment from him for some time. I know it might not look familiar, I haven’t shown it to you, but you haven’t been taken or anything. You got drunk to the point where it was best for someone to walk you out and I decided to volunteer, for what I hope are obvious reasons.  Take as much time getting ready and heading back to your dorm as you need, love.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>    -Freckle’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    Calvin didn’t usually sign things as ‘Freckle’, he only did this with her. She was, more or less, the one who was allowed to say that nowadays, as things had progressed in their lives, as things had turned from small attractions to falling slowly in love with bigger picture things, eventually just falling for the whole of someone. She loved Calvin, and Calvin loved her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    Of course, it couldn’t be </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>simple, could it?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    Every other relationship she’d had, there’d been something wrong. Through all the C names she’d been with, there had always been some damning flaw, from something as simple and base as not being particularly passionate to deeply rooted political disagreements, she’d never found someone she’d just...clicked with. She’d dated football players, self made race car drivers, pilots, all sorts of adventurous people who came from all walks of life. She loved adventure, and the people who went on them, but she never loved them for long.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    And here was this random lad, this soft eyed, apron wearing, quiet boy, who said a few of the right things and swept her off her feet. The biggest adventure he’d ever gone on was, barring the work for the Daisy, maybe a trip to get groceries. And she loved him, with every piece of her heart and every muscle in her body, she loved him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    Why? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    Is love really that random? Can you go years, almost decades of your life, thinking you want one thing and suddenly just wanting something else? Or was she barking up the wrong tree all this time? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    What even </span>
  <em>
    <span>made </span>
  </em>
  <span>her love him? Why </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span> of all people? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    Maybe it didn’t matter. Maybe the fact that she loved him was all she needed. Why do people like sunsets? Because they’re beautiful. Why’re they beautiful? Because they are. </span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>    Calvin wasn’t sure how he’d timed this as well as he had. The stirring from the other room was nice to hear, as he went about making breakfast, the sound and smell of bacon, eggs, and toast running its way through the house as he worked. The light clacking of plates as he pulled them from the cupboard was accented by the sizzling, as it stopped, and he slowly put things onto plates. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    He wondered how long she’d keep this up. She, surely, had to want for something more than he was. He did adventurous things on the side, of course, but nowadays he had a day job, he didn’t fly planes or race cars like those exes he’d met, he didn’t fence or play ball or cycle or run. He liked Baseball, sure, but he figured most people did, it’s not as if that’s a massive trait. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    He loved everything she was. He loved her adventurous spirit, the way she just...did things she wanted to do. She didn’t really care what others thought or what others did, she enjoyed herself as much as she wanted. She’s everything he’s not.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    Not to say Calvin didn’t enjoy himself, not at all! Well...there were some days, but they weren’t in the majority. Yet, at least. In any case, he liked where he was. He knew Ivy knew that, though...and that was his problem. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    While he could never be privy to her thoughts, he almost knew that she needed something more. He felt like he wasn’t fulfilling enough, like he wasn’t able to give her what she wanted. He wanted to do more for her, sure, but he felt like simple advice from Wick, for example, like listening and including her in decisions were givens in a relationship. Weren’t they? Of course he didn’t step on her agency, of course he never wrote her off as foolish, that’s the point of </span>
  <em>
    <span>being </span>
  </em>
  <span>in a relationship! And simply going on adventures with her, flying places, sailing, things they’d done, seemed like they were window dressing. He knew she was happy, and seeing her happy made him happy, too. But he felt like there had to be something more to it... </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    This must be what he heard Mitzi talking about once on a long drive back from Defiance. </span>
  <em>
    <span>It’ll sneak up on you, Freckle, </span>
  </em>
  <span>she said, </span>
  <em>
    <span>you’ll love her so much you’ll think she’s too good for you. </span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>    He heard footsteps, padding across the floor. He looked back to see her, there, with her hair fixed just a bit, wearing her yellow dress from the night before. Her eyes were half lidded, her dress was wrinkled, her ears were drooped and her tail was stretching as much as she could get it to, to try and work out the stiffness. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    She was the most beautiful thing in the world. And any doubt he had about her love left when he saw her eyes. He knew that any thought he had about her not loving her, about her being too good for him, too far above his station, any thought like that was wrong. She hadn't said anything, just...appeared. And he still knew.</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>    Ivy walked from the room, purring softly, and kissing Calvin on the cheek. She wrapped her arms around him, tightly, almost as if she was trying to balance on him. She was hungover, clearly, the light in the room made her close her eyes and her voice was a sort of soft that it rarely was. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    “Morning, Freckle.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    “Morning.” He responded, rubbing her side and kissing her gently. He looked at the clock. "Oh...I didn't realize, it's noon." This got a slow huff from Ivy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    “How did you sleep?” She asked. “And...where?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    “I tried to sleep in bed with you but you kept saying you were too warm so I ended up on the couch.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    “You goof~” She batted at his arm, and purred loudly. “You made food.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    “Yep. Not a feast but it’s there.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    “It’ll help the hangover.” She said. She sat at the kitchen table of the place, and looked up when he placed the plate and a glass of water near her. The glass was chilled, and it seemed like he went to good effort to make sure things were set nicely. He sat across from her, and after eating a bit, her hand went immediately to holding his, which he’d carelessly placed on the table. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    “Calvin,” She asked him, using his real name, clearly something serious, “if I can get dad and the university to let me move in with you, would you mi-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    “I’d love it.” He said. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    “As much as ya love me, Freckle?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    “As much as I love you?” He thought for a moment. “Maybe. That’s a hard bar to cross, I wouldn’t set anyone to it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    “How much do you love me?” She asked. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    Calvin blinked a moment. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    “I love you so much that I think it’s impossible for me to love you any more than I already do. Every time I see you it’s like I fall in love again. Any questions I had about anything just...vanish.” He said. “I love you to the point of infallibility.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    “To the point of infallibility?” She let off a quiet chuckle and kissed his hand, rubbing her thumb across it. “Infallibility of what?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    “Well, infallibility of our love.” He said. “I sometimes think about whether I’m doing enough, whether I’m good enough...then I see you, and you’re there. And you make me feel...I guess infallibly in love. Like nothing could be wrong with it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    “I like that.” She said. It seemed her doubts were gone, too. Her questions as to why, they all just left her. She was happy. He made her happy. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    That made it infallible, to her at least.</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>    She had gotten over the hangover by 3, and Mitzi had been forward thinking enough to send Calvin home with a change of clothes for her. They were casual...by Mitzi’s standards, of course. He felt like he needed to gussy up a bit just to walk her back to her dorm. He held her hand the whole way, and when they got there, she stood at the door. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    “So, will I be seeing you tonight, Freckle?” She asked. “At the Daisy, I mean. Unless Mitzi’s got you off doing some other sort of work?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    “I might come by for a bit. I have some things I need to get done for my day job.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    “Ahh, yes, your incredibly difficult day job of writing about things in the paper. Oh, how horrid!” She teased, looking up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    “It’s hard sometimes! Especially when you put off writing for this week and you have to make it all up in one night to turn in tomorrow for the Sunday paper.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    “Well! Calvin...er...whateveryourmiddlenamemightbe McMurray! I never!” She crossed her arms and put her nose up in the air. “Looks like I went for a rapscallion after all.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    “I know, all this time my one vice has been sometimes procrastinating.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    “Why’d you put it off?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    “Didn’t have anything I thought I wanted to write about…” He said. “I’ve got a good idea now.” He kissed her, holding her by the waist and pulling her close, quick enough that it elicited a hitch in her breath and a very slight moan. She pulled away. “That was a confident kiss, wasn’t it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    “I suppose you’ve made me a bit more confident in the past few months.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    “I suppose I have...I’ll see you, Freckle.” She winked and kissed him once more, a quick peck, and walked off into her dorm room, smiling like a fool as she did. </span>
</p>
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